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Matthew Bocchi was nine years old when two planes struck the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001. His father worked for Cantor Fitzgerald at the top of the North Tower. He didn’t know it when he went to school that day, but he would never see him again.

In Matthew’s new book Sway, he writes about this experience and the impact it had on him. But the story doesn’t end there. In fact, his suffering was far from over.

Matthew coped with the trauma a bit different from others, by trying to learn everything he could about his father’s death. He obsessively watched videos of people who jumped to their death, hoping to find a further clue. He began rigorously searching for the answers from the adults in his lives, but he was coming up with dead ends. Until one person started to talk to him: an uncle through marriage. But instead of providing Matthew with closure, this man took advantage of his vulnerability and began sexually abusing him. For years Matthew suffered from feelings of shame. And he turned to drugs.

He battled a drug addiction for years and caused damage to himself and his family. Matthew has been sober since 2015 and has learned so many lessons in sobriety. In this episode, we discuss his trauma and how he has coped with it over the years. We talked about why vulnerability is so important. How the stigmas around sexual abuse and masculinity stopped him from coming forward earlier. This episode is pretty heavy, so brace yourself. But in the end, Matthew continues to inspire and impress me. Despite the pain he has suffered, he maintains a positive outlook and is a pleasure to speak with.